20080922

About Lebanese Knots and Mickey Mouse

I find myself in awe whenever I face a tight knot
in our richly formed web of human life.

(By a knot I define a strong custom, belief or political party
upon which is built a whole class or "sacred" social dogma).

On a local level:

I have been, since my early teenage years, some sort of rebel
against the infinite knots that are found in our Lebanese community.

Just yesterday I faced one.

I was heading serenely to the beach, the weather was clear, sun was shining,
birds singing, you know a typical end-of-summer day.

Suddenly, I remember -upon facing the massive crowd and being caught in a colossal traffic-jam- that there's a mass taking place on that day for the souls of all the martyrs in Lebanese (Forces) history.

I tried to be cool, but the people were in such a frenzy that drove me to the verge of rage.
Buses full (inside, outside and on top) of people from all classes with flags and anthems and all that jazz.
Cars ranging from 30 year-old-Renault to the all new BMWs, Range Rovers and Mercedes, full with people and flags and...

I appreciated the engagement and belief embodied by these masses
yet I was cursing every one of them and their leaders and their mass and the martyrs...

Call me an heretic but facing such a knot makes you think
about the others found in our poor country.

I will take you on a quick knot-tour:

The Christian "Forces" Knot:
they think they are the base of Christians in Lebanon and have been blinded by their own beliefs as to make them completely blind to the fact that everything's evolving around them and even belief have to be updated and recycled. Led by a war-lord and an idiot.

The "Free Movement" Knot:
they also think they are the base of all christian resistance in Lebanon and strongly believe that they are on a higher pedestal than their "fellows" in the "Forces". Led by a crazy retired general who thinks he's the Lebanese Bonaparte.

The "Party" of God:
All I know is if God wanted a party he would have created one himself that wouldn't have an AK-47 as part of his visual identity. Whenever they throw a party, more than a million come down to the streets and sadly have the ability to act as a swarm of locust. Led by a strong and charismatic yet disillusioned man who thinks he rules the Lebanese "underground".

The March 14 Salad:
A salad, one that is badly cut, garnished and mixed. Led by business and money tycoons who get lost where does their allegiance reside putting aside the fact that they have the ability to babble and eat shit extensively.

The Mystics Mount:
This knot is a tough one knowing that they are lost in their own identity and have the ability to change color, allegiance and belief in a glimpse. Led by crazy monkeys who babble, twitter and ride motorcycles.

Man I've had enough with these knots...


On a regional level:

A friend forwarded me a link to an article on an arab news site that transferred the sayings of a well known sheik who demanded the head of Mickey Mouse, treating it as an object of the Devil that aims to destroy the minds of our children and advised all televisions to ban it...

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I laughed for 5 minutes..
Q: Why now does he choose to kill Mickey Mouse?
A: There's a new saudi character preparing to invade the market.

Q: What was he doing the last 70 years?
A: Studying Walt Disney's works in depth.

Q: What on earth does this guy think about whenever making such a statement to the public?
A: Mickey Mouse humping Minnie Mouse while Pluto is filming.

Q: How many people actually will do as he says?
A: Sadly... a lot.


The link
How about that sheik and every sheik and priest and patriarch
and pope declare the ban of Lebanese knot-leaders?

Drink.