20141219

Amor Vincit Omnia

... a connection with a soul ignites a sleeping spark under the glowing dark ashes left by a totally battered and consumed phoenix.

The spark grows slowly and a new phoenix takes form.

Grows slowly...

The fires nourishing it are of different colours, different layers. They are as rich as fine aged wine, as magical as never-seen-before runes, as ethereal as the connection that ignited it all.

There are infinite memories that vanish to give way to new ones, there is stillness, there is longing, there are wonders yet to be discovered as the fires grow wilder.

The phoenix has never reached this glow, no.

It is getting even more ablaze, and though it's totally new, though it feels pain at times, though the cold rains shower it often, the blaze still grows and it's just emancipating.

Time stands still.

Inside of the phoenix, there's just them: Her and him.

They're afraid, they're happy... they're not grasping it...

A sudden gust of wind makes him turn and look the other way.
There's sorrow there, there's darkness, there's everything that is not Her.
He shudders, sheds a tear, then smiles for he knows...

Then, he looks around... he can't find her... She's lost somewhere, but he knows it won't be long before they are united again; they were one long before they ever met...

The blaze of the phoenix gets wilder outside and as it happens, she reappears inside running towards him. She looks like she is miles away, but still he feels her in every way.

What feels like eternity finally passes.

They are facing each other, the phoenix is the universe now.

He smiles, she smiles... and then he touches her in a way like she was never touched before.
And he touches her slowly and she feels whole.
And he touches her and he touches her soul...

-------
Like the phoenix, I will consume myself over and over again in the name of the same abstract concept, ruler of everything and everyone in this universe: love.

I have risen from my own ashes several times now, this time it feels like the blaze keeps on getting stronger and, unlike other times, it's not temporary and what's fuelling it seems infinite because Amor Vincit Omnia.

Damn it's hot in here...
Drink water.

20141116

Never

I read somewhere that the most important things in life happen to us when we are busy making other plans, when we least expect it.
This proved to be true reflecting on my personal past.

We tend to "get used" to what we have and feel a special comfort in it, even when we are suffering, even when it makes us suffocate and makes our present a living hell. 
We have several kinds of fear:
fear of change,
fear of the idea of having to work something anew,
fear to be disappointed again,
fear of going through the same shit again,
fear of failure,
fear of not being up to expectations,
fear of having really found what we always wanted,
fear of being happy,
fear of actually changing a life full of discernible patterns on any level whether psychological, emotional, relational, professional, etc...

Taking the plunge into any new adventure/project, no matter its nature, requires lots of guts and it becomes harder to achieve the older we get. One being a thinker and sensitive by nature makes things even harder.

I have learned that the best moment of any life-changing decision is the moment you take the aforementioned plunge, because you are never fully ready to any change in your life.

So, next time you know what you have, do not think of what may be, just take that plunge and see where it will take you.
The unknown is beautiful if your present base is solid and beautiful.

So, my friend, are you ready?
Never.

Drink water.

20140925

Her

The worst feeling in the world is losing love you once had.
"I don't love you anymore" / "I have no feelings for you anymore" are two of the worst sentences one can hear, read or feel. I stressed on the "anymore" because it proves the vanishing of a love that once was.

Sadly, I have experienced the above twice in my life till now, it's no big deal –shit happens.
I sure hope I will never live through it again though.

What matters is what happened after I went through the above mentioned state: I found Her.
Yes.
I-found-Her.

Her is a beautiful person inside-out, she is a mix of natural goodness, sweet empathy, bits of the moon, adventurous spirit, sensitive soul and agile mind.
Her never stops amazing me especially in Silence.
Her continues my sentences, knows what I am thinking and laughs at my silly jokes –worse, she comes up with even sillier ones.
Her's smile makes me forget all the worries in the world.
Her understands all my sides although she barely knows me.
Her makes me feel good about myself even when I am feeling down.
Her is me and vice-versa.
Her is indescribable in words...
Now I wait... for good things are worth waiting for and September with its awesome clouds holds endless promises.

"All makes sense now... The band is ready, the lights are low, the people left and I stand alone in the middle of that wrecked hall waiting for you to join me for this final dance..."
–Me to Her on one summer night