There are times when I wish I can just unleash that beast in me and give way to a surreal killing machine that eradicates scum off the face of this earth, then I realize that by doing so I would be degrading myself to the level of scum that think they are gods.
I had the chance to visit a renowned nightclub in Beirut yesterday night, it was the first time I go into one of those flashy-pump-it-up-fake-away-venues and two of my doubts have been proven:
1. "Maybe it's because I am different in some ways that's why I can't have fun in these places"
Now I am sure that I do not fit in and I don't want to ever fit in these decadent gatherings of hollow and fake wannabe men and women. I judge on experience here, for what I experienced was intense from the moment I stepped into the venue: it's like cancer but it's in the looks, attitude, reflexes, gestures...
While I tried all evening to have fun with my friends and not give a damn about what's happening around, I felt that cancer all around: it's a young demented (the bad demented) people that's in the making and the worst is yet to come.
I am also sure that I can have fun wherever I may be, for I am what I am, naturally: authentic, genuine and unique. And I know that there are lots of people out there who are too, so I am hopeful for a cure for the cancer.
2. "I am not sure I can write/talk about the people who love these places, after all they can do whatever they want to do"
Hell yeah I can when I feel that "cancer" I felt yesterday. I imagine these people like the nice knives you find at the tables of Arabic restaurants: they're bright, shiny, fancy, and make the table set look beautiful and complete, but do they cut?
We need knives that cut!
Knives that are sharp, that can cut off the decaying skins of successive rotten generations' fruits and get to their core goodness, that can slice smoothly and make things happen, not just sit there, be beautiful, look fine with the fork and plate, and just nearly scrape the skin of anything good that might feed the body and soul of what we call our society.
No one obliged me to go to that place or any other like it.
Someone will tell me to fuck off and stay home if I do not like these places.
Everyone will just continue to do what they do and sit there, fake-it-all-away and just dance the night away, can't they?
No... not with what's at stake.
Now drink water -not that fake shitty vodka- while it lasts.