20090121

Public Introspection

When you fail, admit it and continue, it's something.
Even though at times you feel like you've been crushed by a free-falling fridge,
you keep on standing unbalanced, hoping.

You sweat, you suffer, you sacrifice, you dream;
you make others dream with you, hope with you, be proud of you;
then it's all gone...

All is gone but the rage inside me.

" It's better now than later!"
" Thank God you're in good health and you have family and friends around you!"
" ... but you learned a lot and gained experience!"
" It's all for the better!"
bla bla bla


I know all that, I am grateful for all that I have not lost but:
Q: What the fuck do you know?
A: Nothing.

Q: Who the fuck really cares about what shit I've been to?
A: No one.


I don't need comforting, void slogans, pep-talk or a tap on the shoulder.

I need to focus on my rage.
I need not pour my rage on you.
I am not to be tested by simple people or matters.
If you:
are shallow, give me a headache, are fake, are negative;
I will stay out of your way.

zero.
that's where I am now, it's good to be at zero,
an infinity of choices lie ahead..

Thank you for taking the time and reading my gibberish,
you have officially attended an introspective show of Samah El Hakim.